Moving abroad? Adjusting to a new country, a new home, a new environment and—above all—a whole new culture can sometimes get quite overwhelming or maybe even daunting for some of us! Do we merely want to cope or survive in our new environment, or do we want to thrive?
Many years ago when I moved to Australia with my husband, I was super-excited about starting our new life!
We had been married for only two months at the time and everything seemed wonderful ;). I had resigned from a very fulfilling corporate job and had happily agreed to move abroad with my husband for his work.
I could not wait to reach, unpack and set up our new place. The idea of exploring a new city, a new country and settling down was thrilling. The mere thought of working in a new country filled me up with excitement. Although, I realised that moving to a new country and calling it ‘home’ is not going to be a cake walk, but having studied abroad and having experienced cultural shock already, I thought, “Hmmm, how difficult can it get now?” Well, as it turned out, I was wrong—the move came with its own set of challenges.
The first couple of weeks were quite busy—good busy—and the initial adrenaline kept me moving. Though I was making good progress everyday, it soon dawned on me that I pretty much had to start from scratch. And I am not just talking about getting our new place running, organising ourselves, finding a job or making new friends, but actually finding my way through this new culture, embracing it and thriving within it.
I started feeling overwhelmed, homesick and lonely—all at the same time. It’s funny when I think how quickly I went from “Yay-I-am-about-to-embark-on-a-new-journey” to “oh-no-why-did-we-come-here?”
I realised that visiting countries as a tourist is very different to actually settling down in a foreign land and referring to it as ‘home’. It is like re-inventing yourself amongst foreigners, or so I felt at the time.
Here are some changes I made to my lifestyle to not only cope but also thrive—in-this-not-so-much-foreign-land-anymore—in those years. I thought these might be helpful for people to settle outside their home country even elsewhere! Feel free to drop in your comments below.
Get out more: I decided to get out of the house more—be it for: 1) walks in the mornings or evenings; or 2) catching up with friends over coffee; or 3) meeting recruitment agents to discuss job prospects.
- Even if I just did not feel like it, I made the effort to get ready and step out of the house for a brisk walk. The magic and difference that fresh air can make to your system—I think—is highly underrated. It fills you with positivity and a can-do attitude. It surely worked wonders for me every single time I stepped out.
- Catching up with friends proved to be a great pick-me-up. Just chatting with them made me feel good. Having good friends can make a world of a difference when you are living abroad. They were like my second family in the absence of my immediate family.
- I decided I am not going to just sit at home and apply for jobs online. Instead, I coordinated meetings with recruitment agencies and got out more. I was not sure if this was actually improving my job prospects but it was surely making a big difference within me. I had started feeling more confident. I also learnt heaps about the culture, communication style, and received some application/interview tips (which I still use) after communicating with these agents.
Familiarise: Every time I stepped out for my walks, I took a new route to familiarise myself with the local area. Familiarising myself as much as possible with the new place helped me identify with it and call it ‘home’.
The knowledge of where to find basic amenities, supermarkets, Indian grocery stores, location of the gym, walking tracks, directions to local shops, hardware stores, et cetera, surely helped me settle down faster.
It made a huge difference in making me feel less homesick. Information on how to get to everything or being able to access it as and when I needed went a long way.
Compare not: I stopped comparing everything to my hometown. I realised if I keep comparing every aspect of my new environment with my home place, I will never be able to see and realise the wonderful things the new place had to offer. This is because, in my mind, my home town (and all other conveniences it offered) were always dearer to me—atleast during the initial settling down phase.
So, I made a short list of five features/conveniences that I liked about this new town that were not available in my home town. For instance, I loved the designated play areas for kids in every mall, or accessibility to clean and well maintained parks/designated walking tracks, and the convenience of walking into a supermarket and finding it all under one roof.
Indulge: I decided to take out some time and indulge myself now and then. This proved to be one of the most effective ways in making me feel better, especially on the days I felt really down and lonely. It was an instant feel-great solution.
Simple indulgences like going out for dinner with friends, cuddling up in a blanket with hot chocolate and watching a movie, or reading a book, provided me with a breath of fresh air. Taking out some me-time to do my favourite things went a long way toward rejuvenation.
Eventually, I started feeling better. Everything was helping. It was a process of re-inventing myself. I started thriving. World was becoming a happy place again and I started falling in love with our new environment. And the picture is quite different now. I feel there could be no other place in the world as wonderful as this—after my hometown ofcourse!
What are the factors that have helped you thrive in a new place? Along with me, I am sure, others reading this space would love to hear what worked for you?
