Let’s picture this:
A mum who always has a clean, clutter-free house; washed, sparkling dishes; clean, neatly-folded laundry; fresh, home-cooked, healthy lunches, hearty dinners; quality time with kids; a consistent exercise routine; regular catch up with friends; and ofcourse, an exceptional performance at work.
Really?
Please mums! Relax. I am yet to meet this super mom who checks off all of the above boxes regularly and without any domestic help! Don’t be too hard on yourself. We have an incredible amount on our plates.
When I was a new mum, I often set unrealistic expectations for myself and aimed to tick off all the chores on my to-do list. Result: Either I felt guilty about not achieving it all or my health suffered trying to achieve it all.
I have learnt some strategies along the way which have helped me work around, if not include, all the above-mentioned jobs in my daily routine. Here are some of my favourites and most effective ones:
Weekly menu planning:
With two little kids and—what seem to be—a gazillion chores, planning meals in advance has proved to be a life saver. It takes no more than 15 minutes of your time over the weekend, and knowing what to cook in advance is half the battle won.
I put up my menu plan on the fridge for ready access and for everyone to see.
Another alternative that works well is to plan categories/meal type in advance. Then, on the day, you just need to decide within that category depending on your mood and the food stocked in your pantry and fridge.
This gives you the choice of not sticking to a specific dish if you don’t feel like cooking/eating that one. You can still shop your groceries in an organised manner and make use of specials on veggies and fruits at your local store for that week.
Either way, planning menus in advance not only saves you heaps of time, energy and effort but money as well.
Bulk cook and freeze:
It’s worth cooking extra batches of food and freezing portions for those lazy/busy days when you find yourself standing infront of your fridge/ pantry at 5 pm wondering what to eat.
Shopping groceries online:
Shopping groceries online and getting them delivered at home has become a really popular option. It saves you heaps of time and energy by not having to drive to the store, battle for a car park and wait at the checkout. It also saves you money as you are not tempted to buy things that you actually don’t need, and you can see all the ‘specials’ at one go online.
‘Click and collect’ is another time-energy saving option offered by most supermarkets these days. In this case, you still get to shop online, but just arrange to pick it up yourself in store. How cool is that that someone else does the grocery shopping for you and don’t have to pay an extra dime other than your actual grocery bill.
In either option, it is just a matter of setting up your first shopping list online and from then on every time you want to shop, you can just click on your old saved list and make modifications.
Make a routine and stick to it:
My kids thrive on a routine. Following a fixed, pre-determined routine not only helps the kids but will also help you get more organised and tick off your priorities. The challenge is to stick to the routine.
After getting some ideas from other mums, I developed these morning and night routine charts of my own for the kids.
I printed out two sets and put them up in my kids bedroom and fridge door so there is no excuse for missing out jobs. It sure does make for a lot more peaceful mornings.
Organise your wardrobe for the week:
This does not take more than 10 minutes and saves a lot of precious time in the morning when you stand in front of your wardrobe thinking “I have nothing to wear”.
Over the weekend, pick out 5 sets of work clothes, for each day of the week, and hang them out—this includes any accessories such as stockings, scarves etc. In case, you need to repeat clothes during the week with another set, just do the best you can. Then you just need to iron them, if required, the night before.
Prep lunch boxes as much as possible the night before
For inspiration, feel free to have a look at some of my healthy and quick lunchbox ideas here.
Exercise:
After a whole day’s work, sometimes it feels too hard to gather all that energy to exercise. But it actually works the other way round—exercising leaves us feeling much more energised, rejuvenated and refreshed.
Try and include some form of exercise—walking, running, yoga—whatever works best for you for a minimum of 20-30 mins everyday. Even a short 15 minute stroll after lunch just around your office/home block goes a long way than not exercising at all. Alternatively, you can walk in two sets divided into 10 to 15 minutes each, during different parts of the day as it suits you.
It is alright to outsource domestic chores:
Unless you are over the moon about doing household chores yourself, it is okay to outsource some domestic drudgery as long as you are happy to pay for it. If you don’t have time to clean your house, you could hire a cleaner. If you don’t like ironing, consider sending your clothes to a laundry. Look at your household budget and see if you can afford some domestic help to free up your time and headspace.
If cooking is not your thing then consider hiring some cooking help, maybe once or twice a week. I once hired a lady who would come for 2.5 hours, once a week, and cook some curries/bread (rotis) for us. After she left, I froze everything in small portions—so it was ready to defreeze, heat and eat when required. It worked beautifully and I hardly needed to cook.
Me-time:
Let’s face it, living abroad, most of us do not have the luxury of grandmas who narrate stories to our kids, make them sleep, a grandpa who takes them out, and cousins to play and fight with. ‘It takes a village…’ does not really work here.
In our nuclear families, we play these multiple roles all together and multitask. Needless to say, we sometimes forget ourselves in the grind.
Now, let’s have a little peek at your day. In the morning you wake up early-ish. Prep breakfast. Pack lunch bags. Get yourself and kids ready for school and work. Drop kids to school on way to work. Work all day. In the evening, you pick up kids before heading home. Reach home and head straight to the kitchen. Prepare dinner. Somewhere in between you squeeze out time to play with them, get their homework done. Feed everyone dinner. Take them for a shower. Give them milk. Story time. Tuck them in bed. Phew!!
Oh, I almost forgot the in-between kid tantrums and whinging sessions.
Well, excellent job mum! But what did you do for yourself?
How about some ‘me time’ once in a while? Even if it’s just 10 minutes of alone time to just reflect, enjoy the peace or meditate. Me-time rejuvenates you to return to the grind—mentally and physically. It surely leads to a happier family and kids. In my case, it feels like de-cluttering of the mind.
Depending on your choice and time availability, me-time activity could be anything that clears your head and makes you feel lighter. It could be sitting with your favourite book/TV show with a cuppa, catching up with friends, meditating, going for a walk, warm shower etc—whatever works.
And please mums—ditch the guilt:
We’ve all felt guilty at one time or another. For instance, when our professional commitments cause us to miss a parent-teacher meeting at school or host fewer playdates, or when our kids’ grades go down—of course it’s our fault!
It is alright to miss out a few things on the way as long as we are ticking the ones most important to us. It’s about striking that delicate balance where you tick off your most important priorities and let go off others.
Always remember this golden rule:
Planning + planning + planning = sane mums and happy kids
Read more on desi motherhood and parenting tips here.